frogblog

True to form, the National Party has released a forestry policy that leaves Labour’s policies completely unchanged, but whinges mightily about the RMA. What a yawn. The now familiar recipe goes like this;

Ingredients:

1 Labour policy (ripe)

1 cup of meaningless statistics

1 National Party spokesperson

1 cup of self-righteous bile

standard seasonings

Implements:

A dark, damp closet

1 re-usable RMA reduction casserole dish

Chef de Mission: Crosby-Textor

Take one Labour policy (preferably ripe) and dice into small size chunks. Mix in 1/2 cup of self-righteous bile, 1/2 cup of meaningless statistics and pepper liberally with empty criticisms. (If the Labour policy is especially ripe, use less bile here and save for the spokesperson) Spread evenly in your RMA reduction casserole dish and place in a dark, damp closet for several weeks. Check regularly for leaks.

A couple of days before serving, take the remaining bile, meaningless statistics and the spokesperson and baste gently over a medium heat until boiling, then reduce to a simmer. Season to taste. If no leaks have occurred in your casserole dish, you can glaze the diced labour policy with the simmering bile. Allow to stand briefly and seek sign off from the Chef de Mission, Crosby-Textor. This is a critical period, as pouring the simmering glaze over the ripened policy can often cause fractures which can lead to leaks, particularly when the overheated spokeperson is rapidly exposed to fresh air.

Serve the  spokesperson and the policy at the same time, seasoning liberally.

That’s about it.  Other than the suggestion of switching from methyl bromide to Phosphine, a fumigant that is already under investigation because pests have developed resistance, there isn’t a shred of anything new in this policy that isn’t already Labour’s. As usual, we are none the wiser about what National really plans to do should they occupy the benches after November. Mores the pity.

For a more palatable recipe for sustainable forests, see the Green’s forestry Policy.

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